when ppl thinks it is the end..

bila berakhirnya sebuah chapter dalam hidup dan kita perlukan helaian baru to get our butt to move ahead... it is just..sick time for me.. i dont know how to handle things even just to gve ppl hug..

look... aku tak dibesarkan dengan all the fantasy dan yes mak aku tak layan benda2 mengarut like this stupid princess, ending that will last foreva in the bahagia moment, comfort u in the zone that no conscious logic mind would accept, blah blah blah....

bila aku nak amek result... result SPM..kau tau lah kan nerves mcm mana kan.... so usually ur mother would comfort u like....

"okay punya.. i am proud of u...." or "u will do well...!" or "alalala..dont worry my love.." etc2 apa2 yg comfort atau realitinya putting another pressure on the thing call HOPE....

kau tau apa mak aku kata?

"dah jawab dah pon exam hari tu kan... terima je lah apa yg dapat. it is ur work..tak payah nak takut..takde apa boleh diubah dah..."

u see? not much comfort kan? but surprisingly itu yg comfort aku... give me reality...the truth... no bull.... though its tough... but it kept ur feet on the ground and accept everything..

the list go on.. .not that i am blaming my beloved mother for the kind of childhood i had experienced but i am so bless that every time i dont have time to waste utk layan semua emosi macam ni... that is like, u act like hugging kissing and all tp dalam hati, seriouslly kau ikhlas?i bet at least ppl that i know for my life tak pernah hug dengan ikhlas....aku keji?kejam?heartless? come on.... deep down, u know what i say is truth.....

so, that is why.... bila perpisahan terjadi.... i choose to just go away quietly and as fast as i could...so that ppl just dont do the above thinggy... it just make me feel uncomfortable... dan plg penting... aku tak mahu event di atas buat aku lebih ada perasaan yg tak baik... u see.. i want to have a good memory of our past.. not the bad ones.. so dont create another bad info for me to analyse....

so that is why i am bad at saying goodbye... if there is a goodbye event, the one aku suka adalah just like hangout and laugh...then everbody just say, till i meet u sucka... or hope i dont bump into u in future. har har har...taklah..sbnarnya...aku cuma suka ayat ni....

I MEET U WHEN I MEET U.... :) gimme big smiles is good rather than tears etc2 ....

1st time aku pindah keluar ixora... tetibe je aku lesap.bila pon kakang tak tau. bitch rite? sorry... i am just not good with handling the emotion of myself and others...

if u just push me, i shall say things that is not comforting.... just the pale hard truth... or just a smile. hahahahaha.... ye wateva.judge me... i couldnt care less.... :)