4/7/2013

running. running away rather than facing the real truth is so much easy. but the hidden damage u have done to urself. its ruining you from inside. u tell lies to yourself everyday that it is okay, it is the correct decision, it is what you should be doing... without realizing its going to consume you one day with the denial syndrome. one, if has make the decision they think its the best. why keep running away? why avoid conversation that might persuade nor slap you in the face about reality of the decision you make? lies.denial.running. i wonder if next step is suicide.

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failure.it seems to follow us no matter how hard we try to avoid it.the courage to get up and move on seems to be something that i failed to do so far. one after another.it seems that there is no end to it. yet. i still hope there is rainbow after this storm. hope. strength. it what we need to get up again.over time, it will heal. at least that is what i learn from my dear friend. ups and downs. lets stay with each other. even when i can do nothing but sit quietly beside you. 

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the path you choose.the decision you make.it does not really matter if you ignore the reality of the world.survival. harsh world. the confusion when one mix the fantasy into reality and pray hard there will be rainbow after that. may mature you.or. when you fall... you fall hard. then you back to the cycle of life. we learn.. hard or easy way..learning process. is what i tell myself for every mess.. consequences. is what makes your life harder no matter what u tell yourself.

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having to admit mistake for the decision u believe to be true is hard. not everybody have the guts nor the will to admit ones wrong decision every time when it comes to one's pride. the price you pay for not admitting and the suffering,the regrets, the broken hearts, could u ever heal from that? .pride... its gonna be ur dark side of the life without even having to do anything.

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