and yes. this time, this post is all about u.

funny when ppl thinks every  or at least one or two  previous posts have anything to do with them. 

does it ever occur to u that my life is not about u all the time? that i have problems on my own that perhaps all the posts are all dedicated solely to me or any of my family members? 

space is what im giving u on the day u start to ignore.
 

so much about the presumptions and assumptions. perhaps if u ask straight to my face embarrassment would fly away?

perfection is nothing near me. 

unlike facebook, it takes a lot more effort to click on the link to this stupid blog i owned, read about the shits im writing bearing in mind that sangka baik also should be included when reading this stupid blog i owned. 

for the purpose of this blog? its completely my freedom to write any shits of my life so long as it does not disclose anybody identities to the world. if this stupid blog i owned irritates anyone, simply just dont click. as simple as our friendship. u ignore, i give u space. if u ever need me, u know where to find me...for now.

picking up the phone wont hurt ur big ass ego. i can promise u that. especially if i just wanted to give what u love the most. hati. soalnya hati. kenapa perlu lari? i promise u i wont give u the look i told u soo or anything in that line if that is what u think i would do.. u always presumed the worst of me. last time we spoke, i did ask for forgiveness if there is anything wrong. u give me indication that forgiveness is what i get.so now, what the hell is wrong ? 

xpelah. just dont forget, i can be a bitch as well.

i can not return the call

i can ignore better than u

i can be angrier longer than u

i can be a real bitch

and 

i can walk away without turning back.  

4/7/2013

running. running away rather than facing the real truth is so much easy. but the hidden damage u have done to urself. its ruining you from inside. u tell lies to yourself everyday that it is okay, it is the correct decision, it is what you should be doing... without realizing its going to consume you one day with the denial syndrome. one, if has make the decision they think its the best. why keep running away? why avoid conversation that might persuade nor slap you in the face about reality of the decision you make? lies.denial.running. i wonder if next step is suicide.

..

failure.it seems to follow us no matter how hard we try to avoid it.the courage to get up and move on seems to be something that i failed to do so far. one after another.it seems that there is no end to it. yet. i still hope there is rainbow after this storm. hope. strength. it what we need to get up again.over time, it will heal. at least that is what i learn from my dear friend. ups and downs. lets stay with each other. even when i can do nothing but sit quietly beside you. 

.

the path you choose.the decision you make.it does not really matter if you ignore the reality of the world.survival. harsh world. the confusion when one mix the fantasy into reality and pray hard there will be rainbow after that. may mature you.or. when you fall... you fall hard. then you back to the cycle of life. we learn.. hard or easy way..learning process. is what i tell myself for every mess.. consequences. is what makes your life harder no matter what u tell yourself.

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having to admit mistake for the decision u believe to be true is hard. not everybody have the guts nor the will to admit ones wrong decision every time when it comes to one's pride. the price you pay for not admitting and the suffering,the regrets, the broken hearts, could u ever heal from that? .pride... its gonna be ur dark side of the life without even having to do anything.

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dalam hidup aku. byk orang suka cantas. noted. xpelah.syukur rezeki bukan dari manusia tp hak Allah.